In a gesture of inclusion, Narendra Modi invited Sonia
Gandhi to sing a special arati song and welcome him with a traditional Indian
tikka as soon as he deplanes for the Republic day visit to India.
“We really wanted to reach out to all political parties to
show our solidarity to President Obama,” declared Modi on Doordarshan. “And
Sonia is the best choice to show the world we do not discriminate against
anyone: she is of Italian origin, controls a national party as if it was a
puppet show, speaks Hindi with a really atrocious accent, and even befriends
people like Digvijay Singh. I mean - Digvijay Singh! How bad can you get with
your choice of friends?”
“I wrote this arati song myself,” said a beaming Sonia to
reporters at a press conference organised by Digvijay Singh outside 10,
Janpath. “After all, I owe it to Obama
and the Americans. It is in America that I prefer to get all my medical
treatments done since I really don’t like the look and feel of Indian
hospitals.”
“What is wrong with Indian hospitals?” asked an annoyed
Barkha Dutt, who was sitting in the front row with other reporters such as
Arnab Goswami. “Are you saying that American doctors are better than Indian
ones?”
“Madam, do you know that over 50% of the doctors in America
who are treating you are all of Indian origin who were educated in India?”
asked a roaring Arnab Goswami, cutting in. “And yet you choose to go to America
for your treatments instead of Indian hospitals which have the same Indian
doctors as the ones in America. Shame on you madam! Shame on you!”
“Now, now.. don’t get side-tracked, ladies and gentlemen,”
smiled Digvijay Singh. “We are here to discuss the arati ceremony for Obama,
and not the medical treatment of the ‘high-command’, as it were.”
“Oho?” shouted Arnab with a gleam in his eye. “So you do
finally admit that the mysterious ‘high-command’ in your party is none other
than Sonia Gandhi, do you?”
“Can we please go back to the subject of hospitals?” asked a
flustered Barkha Dutt.
A few reporters wanted Sonia to sing the arati song she had
written, but she refused politely.
“Best to hear it on national television,” she beamed again.
“But madam, let’s face it, you do really speak Hindi with an
atrocious accent,” said a reporter. “If you now sing with that funny accent, it
will end up looking like a comedy show. Why don’t you ask Rahul Gandhi to sing
instead of you?”
“Now that is an excellent suggestion, Madam,” said Digvijay
Singh at once. “Rahul will be an excellent choice, no?”
Sonia frowned hard at Digvijay Singh, who went red and
closed his mouth at once.
“Rahul has a bad cold, and his throat is in a bad shape,”
said Sonia. “I don’t think he will be able to sing.”
Rahul Gandhi was unavailable for a response. When we called
his office, we were told he was busy having dinner at the house of a villager
in Jhumri Thallaiya in Uttar Pradesh, and asked if we would be interested in a
photo-shoot opportunity.
